Hope = ‘Hold On, Pain Ends.’

21 Nov

Wow, what a strange few weeks it has been. I don’t really know where to start or what to say, but I’ll give it a go.

Things are very difficult and numb for me at the moment. Very recently, we lost my Uncle unexpectedly. He was only 49. Words cannot possibly begin to describe how hard it is to face, and how it still hasn’t properly sunk in. My Uncle was someone who never complained, never had a bad word to say, never gave up. He always made people smile, and he didn’t even have to try. His personality itself was one in a million, you could rely on him and he made me less scared, by a long way, of having my big operation. He had a stoma, and he always reassured me that I would get my life back and everything would be okay. I saw him transformed from being really poorly, to having his stoma created and him going from strength to strength. I remember the time when he was able to go in a plane for the first time at an air show and fly in it, his body no longer held him back. Just something so simple as that meant so much to him, to see him free of pain and starting to enjoy his life was fantastic and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

When I was little, we did a lot together. I have so many memories, all good, of us. That’s the thing, looking back, I don’t have one bad memory of him, he was a total gem and would do anything for anyone. He was such a fighter. He beat Colitis which had ruined his life and he beat cancer. He was just starting to live the life he deserved all along when he was taken so cruelly and unexpectedly from us. They say the bad things always happen to the good people…

For every tear that I have, I also try to smile, because he would have wanted that. I look back on so many good memories we had, and giggle at the times that so effortlessly he made me laugh until my sides ached. Deep inside, I like to think he’s watching over me and protecting me, because even though he was asked to leave us, he still lives on in a lot of people’s lives and gives us strength. Rest in Peace Uncle Graham. ♥

My procedure went well, was very simple and even though they said they didn’t do much but have a prod and a poke about in my bowel to make sure it was dilated properly, it has really helped me so far. I still get the odd days of pain, but on the whole it’s been great. After the initial soreness, I’ve been able to enjoy food again without having to worry.

Trying to concentrate on University is proving very tough at the moment. Emotionally and physically, I am exhausted, drained and trying to hold on. Ever had that feeling where you’re in a room full of people yet feel so lonely? That’s how I feel everyday at the moment. Hope = Hold On, Pain Ends…

I hope everyone is well, and apologies for the lack of updates at the moment in this hard time.

Amy & Stacey Stoma xx

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2 Responses to “Hope = ‘Hold On, Pain Ends.’”

  1. stomagirl November 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm #

    Hugs hunny. You are a strong person and will be doing your uncle proud xxx

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