The outcome of my trip to the hospital.

11 Jul

To say I wasn’t nervous this morning would be a lie, but, I’ve been through much worse, right? That’s what I keep telling myself.

I saw one of the surgeons who did my operation & one of the stoma nurses, both extremely lovely ladies who make me feel totally at ease & looked after & reassured. I really was not looking forward towards Stacey being poked around at once again, making me cringe at the pain! But hey ho, you get on with these things eh? We have no choice. If you know what’s best for you, you let them do what they have to do. The surgeon put her finger inside Stacey and had a good wriggle about which was quite painful and sore because it is very tight, and so did my stoma nurse. It was quite comical really, I had to laugh, they both have different sized fingers so they were comparing how tight Stacey seemed to the width of their fingers whilst I attempted to bite my tongue, not to swear or to inhale suddenly at the pain and pull some horrid face! They had to wait on a few occasions for Stacey to stop grumbling and pouring, ever the drama queen that she is.

After this, my surgeon suggested that the best thing for me would be dilation everyday at the moment. When I first went in I saw my stoma nurse opening a package with the dilator in, which at first, didn’t even occur to me what it was & I just thought it must be for someone else…Not actually for me, what an amazing gift, I must say, just what you want for Christmas, yeah right. You could have knocked me down with a feather at the suggestion of this…good job I was laying down on the bed! The thought of dilating myself really makes me cringe & feel very uneasy, I thought I’d put all that behind me with the removal of my colon and my devil child rectum; no more colonoscopies, tubes, fingers, gas to dilate the colon, all of that never again, thank heavens. 

This is the dilator I have to use every day for my stoma.

I never even thought of things going into my stoma, I mean, things are meant to come out of there, but then again, same with your bum. They both showed me how to dilate myself, to which, at first I couldn’t even look and covered my eyes, scrunching them up in an attempt to escape what was happening and forget the pain. The bit that got me the most was the popping sound it made when the dilator was pushed past a certain point of my intestine muscle, that also hurt the most, but that popping sound is perfectly normal and is what I need to look out for when doing it myself. Then I thought, “come on, face it, this is reality, you’ve gone through much worse.” The surgeon reassured me it would be fine and that I had to look so they could show me what to do properly, so I looked, and yes, it was weird, but not the world’s biggest deal, I will get used to it, it’s just something incredibly new to me.

So, I have to dilate every day when I change my bag and leave it in for approximately 30 seconds. I’ve been given a lubricating jelly to use to make it a lot more comfortable and manageable. I have been told that it is bound to be very sore and hurt for a good while at first and to expect some blood, but hopefully, as time goes on, the pain will get less and my stoma will become less tight and more relaxed. No surgery on the cards yet, if it is at all needed, thank goodness. I have to go back in 2-3 months to reassess the situation, but according to my surgeon, I should be able to get it all under control with this dilator every day without the need of surgery to re-fashion Stacey.

Other than that, good news, she is really pleased with me and how far I have come since this time last year. It is people like my surgeon and stoma nurses that really make me have faith in what I can achieve with Stacey and know that I am far from alone.

I feel so lucky. No sign of Crohn’s or inflammation or anything untoward.

I will get used to this, yes, tomorrow when it comes to it and for a while I will be a bit of a wimp and it’ll take be a while to pluck up the guts to do it (pun intended) but just like getting used to having Stacey, it will become part of my daily routine before I know it. I just keep telling myself:

“No stress Amy, you can do this, you have been to hell and back already, this should be a walk in the park.” 

Without struggle, there is no progress.


2 Responses to “The outcome of my trip to the hospital.”

  1. Johnathan Capen July 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    I happen to be writing to let you understand what a remarkable encounter our girl had visiting your webblog. She even learned some pieces, which include how it is like to possess an ideal coaching character to let certain people effortlessly know precisely specific extremely tough matters. You truly did more than visitors’ desires. Many thanks for distributing such informative, trustworthy, educational and in addition cool guidance on your topic to Mary.

    • staceystoma July 19, 2012 at 5:34 pm #

      Johnathan, thank you for your lovely comment. I am glad it was of help!

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